"do you want me to run?"

can i go to my locker?
without looking up, i nod & give my typical response. "go fast."
"do you want me to run?"
amused, i look up and see my student in a knee brace and her arm on the same side in a sling, standing at the door waiting for me to respond.

my sweet student, who had recently taken a fall down the stairs was teasing me, and her playing the role of a well-intentioned smart alec made me laugh. it made me realize i not only need to pay attention a little more, but also to fully asses the students and situations placed before me. it also made me think about things in an entirely different context. in that short moment, i envisioned a role reversal of sorts, where i was the one standing at some door, knee brace, sling and all, and asking for permission to move forward. but the one i was asking for permission wasn't distracted, he never is too busy. my student's question impressed upon my mind how willing i should be to do ALL that heavenly father asks. while up to this point there have only been a few moments, i'm sure there will many times that follow, where i feel broken or temporarily crippled, but despite all else, i should ask "do you want me to run," because if he wants me to, i'm sure its with good reason.

anatomy of friendship

what we learn from george & izzie about friendship...

Izzie: We can't do this. Not today...
George: Why, why? Why now? Why would you pick now to throw down?
Izzie: I didn’t…I can’t lie about how I feel.
George: Actually, you can. People lie all the time. They hold their tongues and they wait. You should hold your tongue because if I’m not making a mistake you’re gonna look like a jerk and If I am I’m going to need you. I need you and you keep taking that away.



so true, in so many ways, with so many people, for so many reasons, about one particular topic.

worth it.

the following are reasons an out of the way NCS game is worth it...

yesterday = miniroadtrip to watch out boys basketball team's NCS game. so worth the 2 hour drive, for a number of reasons....
#1 my fears were squashed about being considered shady. NO teachers/admin drove students.
#2 i've never been to that area of CA before. Novato, marin country even parts of santa rosa = so pretty. made me ache a little for that house in the beautiful little neighborhood.
#3 i got to see a graffittied barn, right next to a beautiful vinyard that read, "all politicians are f&!#*&% monsters" and the "c" was backwards like a little kid wrote it. it made me laugh out loud.
#4 got to see an excellent basketball game. we lost, but it was still a good game. made me want to buy season tickets to all local pro & ncaa games.
#5 i laughed out loud when some of my students called me for directions, got lost, didn't get there until after the game was over, i teased them, and then I got lost on the way home. karma = not sweet.
#6 i drove over 3 bridges, paid the skyrocketing $4 bridge toll for completely in change. yikes. "hang on, we're almost there..."
#7 the "getting lost on the way home" resulted in driving over 2 extra bridges & a citation. driving over one bridge at all made me shake a little. driving over the golden gate required me to pull over completely, prior to heading over. but i did it. go me.
#8 i drove all the way there and all the way back by myself, only needing to call cassandra for directions a couple of times.
#9 being in the car coincides for catching over via cell phones with friends, YAY for the 2 hour opportunity.
#10 i decided i will never move to richmond. period. not that it ever crossed my mind until yesterday, but really, never.
#11 i realized i really need to get out more.

the purpose of this post is simply to take all the thoughts that are running through my brain, give them shape and dump them onto epaper. and because its been almost 3 weeks since i've written. i really must do better. i haven't quite figured out what the parameters of this blog will be. so much has happened in the last year of my life that some days it seems trite to talk about the little things, while other days those little things seem to be the only thing that keeps me from turning inside out. some days i think ill limit it only to the school me, then other days i dont feel that that even scratches the surface of this me or my experience.

two hours after my last post mom called to tell me that grandma had passed away. not unexpected, but still a powerful shake down to the very core. such a sweet lady. such a good example. such a missionary, even in her last conversations. such a beautiful person inside & out. never a harsh word, always loving & kind. laughing & smiling. determined & stubborn. both knowing her, and getting to know her more in these past few months were beautiful and priceless experiences i'm glad to count as my own.