quotes of the day

dear student #1:  i need a pimp cane for christmas

dear student #2:  why?

dear student #1:  ma old one broke.

 

and

 

dear student #3:  whats the capital of thailand?

dear student #4:  bangkok

dear student #3:  (hits other student in the crotch)

quotes of the day

11/30/12

dear student:  baking soda???

me:  yes

you cook with that?

me:  yes.  BAKING soda 

dear student:  the stuff in the orange box?

me:  yes. 

dear student:  isn't that the stuff you make drugs with?

me:  i wouldn't know

 

12/4/12

dear student:  i feel like we got played

me:  and why is that?

dear student:  'cause we don't get to cook pizza

me:  i know, well i wish i hadnt gotten such a bad report from my sub from last week.  i felt like I got played.

 

12/5/12

you're probably calling because you need my christmas list....--voicemail from dear baby sister michelle 

 

michelle: guess what?

me:  what

michelle:  i just found colony of ants in my closet

me:  well did you leave food in there?

michelle:  no.  but my chinese roommate that moved out left noodles in there so there was a bunch of crumbs.

 

12/6/12

text from michelle at 12:51AM (california time)

I JUST FOUND AN ANT ON MY PILLOW

 

 

 

 

 

 

quote of the day

student#1:uhhhh....I gotta fart...
student#2: euhhhhh..
student#1: Kai go outside?
me: yes please
student#1:  ma stomach hurt....

quote of the day

that looks like peppers in a turd with almonds in it--dear student

 

i was about to have to fight somebody for my paper  --dear student

quotes of the day

this might be worse than pregnancy.  --my dearest george 11/3/12  (on having a newborn)

 

thank you for coming to us.  --my dearest george 9/27/12

uh oh.  --text my dearest george 9/21/12

quote of the day

dear student:  did you bring it?

me:  i'm sorry?

dear student:  your son?  you said you'd bring pictures of your son. 

quote of the day

man ms. booth, i gotta pull my hair back, but its looking quite flawless today.  --dear (male) student prior to entering the kitchen

quote of the day

that looks like my right butt cheek.  --dear student on a loaf of fresh honey whole wheat bread

quote of the day

i hope he likes us.  -my dearest george

quote of the day

yo. my doula class today was full of gross vagina videos... so NO, i do not want to witness your birth. --nicoley

quotes of the day

dear student:  wanna see me run and do a backflip off the wall?

me:  no.  please no. 

dear student:  OK fine.

 

and

 

HAYYYYYYYYYYY slowpoke!  --my dear security guard that has called me "speedy" at every opportunity since i started working here.  now, i'm just large.  and not very speedy. 

quotes of the day

a lot of kids don't know how to talk things out. they just want throw
throw sh## --dear counselor at restorative justice training.

and

no, not jeanette, JANET, like janet jackson. don't worry though, i'll
try and keep my boobs in my shirt --dear math teacher on helping
another teacher try and remember her name

if i cant read my confirmation number for a flight because i wrote it
down in eyeliner...can they just look it up at the airport tomorrow?
-nicole

quote of the day

almost done at the doc.  they are a bit concerned about my blood pressure. i probably have to collect urine at home for a week.  yay!  --text from my dearest friend

and 

sophia:  YOOUUU are on time out. (pointing at us and using a growl whisper)

me & cass:  (laughing)

sophia:  stop laughing.  you have to be quiet on time out.  

quote of the day

from the 10 o'clock news:  We have to rely on steady predictable sources of revenue and not believe that we're gonna have pink unicorns pooping gold nuggets to solve the budget problem.  Jon Coupal, Howard Jarvis Tax Payers Association

quote of the day

me:  i found our halloween costumes for next year.

my dearest george:  correction:  you found YOUR halloween costume for next year.  

the neutrogena-esque washing my face in throw up incident

so, i'm too lazy to detail what happened during my glucose test yesteday.  but, instead,  i will copy and paste my IM convo with my sister about it.  

Kristin: so... you bawfed?

1:54 PM me: ha

  yes

  it was awesome

1:55 PM i passed out

 Kristin: hahahahahahaha

 me: first

  well

 Kristin: oh no!

 me: i dont think i was all the way out

 Kristin: were you thinking about the blood test?

 me: i kept hearing the nurse say

  oh no. stay with us

 Kristin: hahaha

 me: as she was holding my floppy head

  and then

 Kristin: was it while it was being done?

 me: the puking commenced

 Kristin: hahahahahahahaha

 me: oh no

  it was in the waiting room

1:56 PM it was a 3 hr glucose screening

  so

  you fast for 12 hours

 Kristin: omg

 me: drink 100 grams of glucose

  well

  first they test your fasting blood sugar

  then you drink this stuff that tastes like flat orange soda

  not good

  but not horrific

 Kristin: hahahahahaa

 me: then you wait an hour

  and they test your blood

1:57 PM then you wait another hour and they test it again

  they you wait another hour and you test it again

 Kristin: sooooo

 me: but not like finger priicking

  its like vein vials.

 Kristin: ew

 me: yah

  sick

  i made it through the first two

 Kristin: they poke you 3 times??

 me: 4

 Kristin: OMG

 me: yah

  yah

1:58 PM Kristin: i would have just quit the earth

 me: i had to do it bc i failed the first test

  that is a 1 hr, non fasting 50 gram test

  i took the test fine

 Kristin: so you were waiting for the 4th?

 me: but right before she drew my blood i started getting hecka woozy

 Kristin: hahahaha

 me: and then i was basically worthless all last week

 Kristin: she drew it in the waiting room?

 me: no

  that was the first test last week

1:59 PM that test came back

 Kristin: oooh okay

 me: and i was a 181

 Kristin: gew

 me: when i should have been under 140

  so

  then if you fail that one

  you have to do the 3 hour

  which i did this morning

 Kristin: i'm so sorry

  that would be my personal hell

 me: yah, me too.

  the thing is

  i told them i wasn't going to be able to manage

2:00 PM and that i was worried about passing out and barfing

  i could barely handle the 1/2 concentration

  but

  whatever

  anyway

 Kristin: fair warning

 me: they did the fasting blood

  and the first hour i felt kinda gross and shaky but

  nbd

  then they took my 1 hr blood

  and i started feeling way better

2:01 PM thinking that the worst of it was over i pulled out my ipad

  and seriously

  within 5 min it was bad news

  i couldn't get comfortable

  super light headed

  woozy

  and then i wanted to lay down

  and then i wanted to go to the bathroom

2:02 PM and then i knew i was going to pass out

 Kristin: picturing you is making me laugh

 me: oh trust me

  im sure it was hilarious

  there were 3 old ladies in there

 Kristin: even though i'm sure it wasn't funny at the time

 me: and there was one right across from me

  and she kept looking at me

  and finally i asked her to go get the nurse bc i was going to pass out

2:03 PM the nurse (who is ALWAYS super sweet to me) runs in

 Kristin: they should have just let you stay in the reclining lab chair the whole time

 me: and i told her i was not well and i was going to pass ouuuttttttttt.....

 Kristin: hahahahahahahahahahahahahah

 me: one lady ran to get me water

  the nurse was holding my head

  my eyes were rolling back

  im sure it was quite the scene

2:04 PM Kristin: hahahahahahahahahahaha

  i'm dying

 me: but the nurse kept me somewhat conscious

  which is when my body was like

  OK FINE.

  and then i started throwing up

  orange glucose goo

  everywhere.

 Kristin: omg stop

  hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 me: luckily it didnt smell like throw up

  but still

  then some how

2:05 PM a trash can magically appeared in front of me

  and i continued to vomit into it

  and when i stopped all i could say was....'wow. i'm really embarassed right now."

  and all the ladies were super nice.

  so i went back to the bathroom and the nurse was hecka worried i couldn't walk

2:06 PM and i told her i felt GREAT now.

  then i looked in the mirror

  and was horrified that my white shirt was completely orange and sticky

  as was my entire face

2:07 PM Kristin: ewwww haha

 me: like i think i tried to catch my barf and i like neutrogena washed my face with it

 Kristin: hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  stop

 me: bc it was everywhere

 Kristin: i'm lolling at work

2:08 PM me: hahah

  i wish i was exaggerating

 Kristin: so did they have to scrap the whole test??

 me: thats the thing

  the nurse called my OB

  who was in an appt

2:09 PM and so the front desk lady told her to just dump the test

  i begged her not to until i could talk to my dr.

 Kristin: haha

 me: so she didn't

 Kristin: good

 me: and i talked to the dr. and he is also super nice and was just like, yah, bummer about this morning. im really sorry.

2:10 PM and i begged him to run it because they took 2 of the 4 measures

  so he agreed

quote of the day

well, then we WOULD have a play area for ding dong over there...--my dearest george

quote of the day

for the emergency preparedness projects in life skills, one option is to create a 72 hour kit, for which the students have to create an inventory and then list the purpose of each item included.  i particularly liked the inclusion and description of deoderant:

deoderant:  don't stink or be nasty.

later in the day when my 6th period finally verified that i was pregnant, they were absolutely thrilled and excited.  it was really, really cute.

dear student #1:  we gon throw us a baby shower.
dear student #2:  YESSSS
dear student #3:  can we?  can we ms. booth, please?
dear student #2:  someone can bring cake
dear student #1:  someone can bring balloons!!!!
dear student #3:  AND WE CAN PLAY THE POTATO GAME!!!

remember:  if its a boy you have to name him santiago.  after me. --dear student

your getting bigger HERE (pointing to my stomach) but not in here (motioning to my arms.)  --dear student on how she knew i was pregnant

you better stop or ms. petty about to have birth up in here. --dear student warning her classmates to behave

quote of the day

you're my little friend.  and know we're going to have another little friend.  a mutual friend.  --my dearest george 

quote of the day

dear male student:  i need to go to the hospital ( nonchalantly)

me:  oh really. 

dear male student:  yes.

me:  and why is that?

dear male student:  because i am having contractions.

 

 

quote of the day

i'm glad youre having puppies. --my dearest george

john steinbeck

maybe there is a fancy way to "reblog" this but i don't know what it is or how to do it.  (facebook is so easy with the "share" button, but whatever.)

 

anyhow, this is an entry from "a cup of jo." make sure to click the link.  she has a darling picture there of the men described below.

 

"Back in 1958, John Steinbeck, author of East of Eden, The Grapes of Wrath, and Of Mice and Men, got a letter from his teenage son Thom, in which Thom confessed that he had fallen desperately in love with a girl named Susan at his boarding school.

Steinbeck wrote this wise and wonderful letter back to him the same day...

New York
November 10, 1958
Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First -- if you are in love -- that's a good thing -- that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second -- There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply -- of course it isn't puppy love.

But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it -- and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone -- there is no possible harm in saying so -- only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another -- but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa
"

 

i love this..."the main thing is not to hurry.  nothing good gets away." 

quote of the day

me:  (lots of whining and moaning)  

my dearest george:  what sweetheart.

me:  im just so hungry and nothing sounds good.  and i want to barf.

my dearest george:  well, how about a milk shake? 

me:  no.  i don't want anything sweet ever again.  something salty. 

my dearest george:  well, what about a fish milkshake?

me:  NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  that sounds disgusting.

i adore that man.  

quotes of the day

i heard there's gonna be an earthquake tomorrow. - dear student

 

and

 

dear student: slappy joes?  what. you just slap everything together? 

me:  no, SLOPPY joes. 

dear student:  ms. booth, don't tell me. 

quote of the day

i just score 3 goal in soccer.  i was like a mexican.  --dear student

quote of the day

dear student:  fist pump (continued to fist pump and swagger up to his seat in the front row)  this jersey shore. 

me:  (laughing)

dear student:  what....you gotta bring the party out in you sometimes. 

VOTE KNOPE

my Parks & Rec/TV friends, 

my dear talented friend, Andrea, (you know that one friend that made all that beautiful and delicious food for my wedding? yah, that one.  she is a multi-talented wizard)  anyhow, she entered a poster contest for the show and got picked as a top 10 finalist. Leslie Knope herself emailed her to tell her about it!

She had no idea there was a voting component to it, but there is and it appears to allow repeat voting.  She'd appreciate any votes and any sharing/publicity! From what I understand the winning poster appears on the show somehow.

contest ends at 8am on feb 27th. 

http://www.knope2012.com/take-part/poster-contest/vote.shtml

please vote and repost and vote again!

quote of the day

dear student: will you give me a B if i wash your car?

me:  no.

quote of the day

me:  title your paper "my dreams" and i want you to list 30 things that you want to do between now and the time you die.

dear student:  only people in movies have dreams.

quote of the day

i had just taken the 1st pregnancy test, and we were driving to costco to pick up some groceries.  i was just kind of sitting quietly, thinking and very seriously, my dearest husband says to me:

"well....i guess we're going to have to get married."  i burst out laughing.  i don't know why it was so funny to me, but it really was the perfect thing to say to me at that moment.  he followed it, just as serious as before, with, "you know.  it's just the right thing to do."

i adore that man.  he makes me laugh every single day, and my life is so much better and happier because he is part of it.  

quote of the day

i'm sorry. but if norm abrams was in my neighborhood, and i was just walking by, i'd have to go meet him. yah, i'd go say hi, and talk to him about his woodshop.  --my dearest george  (oh, how i love that man.)

quote of the day

this poster fell from the wall in my classroom and it was a due reminder: 

"let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." --mark twain

quote of the day

post-it note on some student's work he left in my box in the office:

girl, i totally 4got to give this to you in class.  well, anyways, thanks.

hahaha. 

welcome back to high school. 

appealing after dark

this was on the 10 o'clock news last night.  i don't know about you, but i wouldn't really rate oakland as being an "appealing" place after dark.  but this did make me laugh out loud.