quote of the day

"Children who have trouble finding God in their fathers often have trouble finding a Father in their God." --my sister Kristin quoting her human development teacher who I think was quoting someone else. (a long drawn out way to say idk)

quote of the day

there is no wealth but life.--john ruskin

Five Love Languages for Singles

so i read this book. it was excellent. its an easy read, i thoroughly enjoyed it, and would recommend it to anyone. while reading, i highlighted quotes that jumped out at me for one reason or another. i included them below.


There is one way of knowing that you are on the right track towards success—the track is usually uphill. pg 237

Following the path of least resistance is what makes people and rivers crooked. People seldom drift to success. pg 235

We are relational creatures. All humans live in community, and most people seek social interaction. In western culture, isolation is seen as one of the most stringent of punishments. Even criminals do not aspire to solitary confinement. …positive affirming relationships bring great pleasure, but poor relationships bring deep pain. I would be so bold as to suggest that life’s greatest happiness is found in good relationships, and life’s deepest pain is found in bad relationships. pg 23

Covenant love is a conscious love. It is an intentional love. It is a commitment to love no matter what. It requires thought and action. It does not wait for the encouragement of warm emotions but chooses to look out for the interest of the lover because you are committed to the others well being. pg 29

I am convinced there are only 5 fundamental love languages—5 ways to express love emotionally. Of the five love languages, each of us has a primary language. One of the five speaks more deeply to us emotionally than the other four. We can receive love through all 5, but if we don’t receive love in our primary love language, we will not feel loved even though the person is speaking the other four. However, if they speak our primary love language sufficiently, then the other four provide the icing on the cake. pg 30

Words of affirmation (encouragement, praise, kind words,
Gifts→ “gifts are visual symbols of love. During most wedding ceremonies the bride and groom give and receive rings. The person performing the ceremony says, “these rigns are outward and visible signs of an inward and spiritual bond which unite your two hearts in love that has no end. This is not meaningless rhetoric. It is verbalizing a significant truth. Symbols have emotional value. Perhaps it is more graphically displayed near the end of a disintegrating marriage. When the husband or wife stops wearing the wedding ring, it is a visual sign that the marriage is in serious trouble. One husband said, “when tshe threw her wedding rings at me and angrily walked out of the house slamming the door behind her I knew out marriage was in serious trouble. I didn’t pick up her rings for two days. When I finally did, I cried uncontrollably. The rings were a symbol of what should have been, but lying on his hand and not on her finger, they were visual reminders that the marriage was falling apart. “ pg 61

No person should ever be a doormat. We are creatures of emotion, thoughts and desires. We have the ability to make decisions and take action. Allowing oneself to be used or manipulated or used by another is not an act of love. It is, infact, and act of treason. You are allowing the person who is manipulating use to develop inhumane habits. Love says, “I love you too much to let you treat me this way. It is not good for you or me. Love refuses to be manipulated. pg79

Quality time. Quality conversations, quality listening, quality activities

Togetherness has to do with focuses attention. It is giving someone your undivided attention. As humans, we have the fundamental desire to connect with others. pg 93

Almost instinctively in a time of crisis we hug one another. Why? Because physical touch is a powerful communicator of love. . in a time of crisis, more than anything we need to feel loved. We cannot always change events, but we can survive if we feel loved. pg 110

According to freud, the full uninhibited satisfaction of all instinctual desires would create mental health and happiness. Pitirim sorokin, another psychologist said, “ The sex obsessed society unhesitatingly breaks both divine and human law and blows to smithereens all all values. Like a tornado, it leaves in its path a legion of corpses, a multitude of wrecked lives , an untold amount of suffering and ugly debris of broken standards. It destroys real freedom of normal love; and in lieu of enriching and ennobling sexual passion it reduces it to mere copulation. pg 112

Learning to speak another person’s primary love language is the key to communicating to them on an emotional level that you care about their well being. pg 138

Purposes of dating? 1. To get to know those of the opposite sex and learn to relate to them as persons. I fi fail to learn the art of building wholesome relationships with “the other half” immediately I have limited my horizons considerably. 162
2. Dating provides and opportunity…to help one learn to see others as persons rather than objects. It is in dating that one discovers names, personalities and philosophies. All of these are discovered not as we stand back and view each other as objects, but as we come close and begin to interact with each other.
3. as we relate to each other in the dating context, we begin to see various personality traits exhibited. This provokes healthy self analysis and brings greater self-understanding. We recognize that some traits are more desirable than others. We come to see our own strengths and weaknesses. The knowledge of a weakness is the first step toward growth. pg 164

dating is always a two way street. Certainly we receive something from the relationship, but we are also to be contributing to the life of the one whom we are dating. Unmeasured good could be accomplished if we could see service as one of the purposes of dating. pg 167

genuine love interfaces with all of the ideas that we have about dating. It is an attitude of love that should motivate one to want to relate to others as persons rather than objects, to develop your own personality so you can reach your potential for good in the world, and to serve your dating partner and seek to encourage that person to reach his/her potential.

if we are too far apart on these fundamental issues (values, morals, spirituality, social interests, vocational visions, etc) we should be wise enough to express appreciation for the contribution made to the other’s life and then go our separate ways. pg 172

the supreme purpose of marriage is the union of a man and woman at the deepest possible level and in all areas of life which in turn brings the greatest possible sense of fulfillment to the couple and at the same time serves best the purposes of God for their lives. pg 184

emotional intimacy is feeling loved, respected and appreciated. pg 188

do your hearts beat together spiritually? Are you encouraging each other in spiritual growth or is one pulling gently but consistently in the opposite direction? pg 189

love it.

quote of the day

all truth, in the long run, is only common sense clarified.--thomas huxley

quote of the day

the surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. --robert benchley

quote of the day

smiley: how you doin today?
me: im good thank you.
smiley: can i help you with anything?
me: no i think im ok. thank you though.
smiley: is yo stomach empty, cause i could go make you an that other lady a baked potato. i wasn't here earlier and so i didn't get to make you nothin.

quote of the day

we'll be with you in just two shakes of a lambs tail...--darling temple worker

quote of the day

jordan: oh yea im CANCER FREE

and

this one i have to walk you through, word by word, interjected with my panicked response...


i have sunken to a whole new level today. (oh no) i discovered, (NO NO NO) i had been wearing my pants backwards all day. --a text from one of my dear family members. (oh how i miss her)

hear me out...

I have homosexual friends, colleagues and students whom I love dearly. The issue of gay marriage is an extremely divisive, uncomfortable one for me and one that I previously would have preferred to stay quiet about, so as to avoid any confrontation or contention about things which I will not be convinced otherwise. Prior to Prop. 8 making an appearance on the ballot, my thoughts were that if two men or two women who love each other want to commit to one another, fine. That is not going to change MY definition of marriage, or homosexuality for that matter. And while I believe it to be fundamentally wrong and contrary to the plan that our Heavenly Father has for each of his children, I didn't see how legalizing gay marriage would affect me or my actions. My personal beliefs would remain as constant as they always have.



This, however, has changed. Legalizing gay marriage will affect me and my family, and so I will not remain quiet in hopes of avoiding a conflict. I'm sure I will lose the respect and acceptance of some for this, but, here goes.



My personal belief is that the central goal of our Heavenly Father is to bring his spirit children successfully home to him after this life. Our Father knew he wouldn't be able to be with us every step of the way, and so he prepared a way for his spirit sons and daughters to make it through this earthly life, and that was to allow us to be organized into families. A family, a father and a mother who will seek to teach their children correct principles and live lives governed by the truths taught by our Savior will help those children prepare in a way that if they so choose, they too can go to the temple, marry, can perpetuate this cycle in their own lives with their own families and with their own children.



It is my belief that these types family relationships were instituted by our Father because they can bring out the purest and most Godly form of love that exists in every single one of His children. It is my greatest hope and greatest desire that one day I will marry, and that later, my husband and I will be blessed with children. Every time I think about it I am entirely overwhelmed, but so grateful, that my Heavenly Father might trust me enough to try to raise his children in a way that is pleasing unto him. I do not take such a charge lightly.



I believe in absolute truth and that there are some things that are fundamentally right and some that are wrong, defined as such by God himself. I do not believe in moral relativism, or that "what's right for one could be wrong for another." However, I also believe that every individual, regardless of ANY difference of opinion, decision or lifestyle, is to be treated with kindness, respect and love at all times. That will also remain unchanged, regardless of this outcome of this proposition.



All that being said, and in the research that I've done, I've narrowed it down to 2 reasons why I am voting yes on prop 8:



1. I do not want my children to be taught in the classroom that gay marriage is the same as traditional marriage.



*I see this as a direct assault on my responsibility to raise my children according to the fundamental doctrine & belief of what I know to be true and right. No person, no group, no school and no teacher has the right to take that sacred job from me, or to impose values contrary to what I deem proper and correct, especially not in a classroom setting.



2. Prop 8 does not change or take away the rights of gay or lesbian domestic partnerships as they currently exist in the state of California. "Under California law, "domestic partners shall have the same rights, protections, and benefits" as married spouses. (Family Code § 297.5.) There are NO exceptions. Proposition 8 WILL NOT change this." It all comes down to the word "marriage" and the legal effects of its use in our current law.



If prop 8 passes these are just A FEW of the ways I would be affected:



1. Groups affiliated with my religious organization (for example, LDS family services-adoption placement, counseling, and addiction recovery) could stop operating based their belief that marriage is between a man and a woman and that belief is deemed intolerant and discriminatory.



2. My children would be taught at school that gay marriage is the same as traditional marriage, and that to believe otherwise is bigotry.



3. My religious organization could legally be labeled as discriminatory, and would be unable to operate as they do now. They would be persecuted for supporting and teaching the very doctrine that is at the core of our belief system.



This is why I'm voting yes on Prop 8.

quote of the day

i dont know why they'd wanna go to prison. don't they know there's no girls in prison?? --my department chair on our darling students sometimes delinquent behavior

and

smiley: you are a luxurious woman.
me: um, thank you i think. (thinking how luxurious chucks, jeans & a T-High Class of '08 hoodie must look on casual Friday)
smiley: oh no. its a good thing. trust me.

quote of the day

student: miss. do i look like a serial killer?
me: oh i sure hope not. should i be worried?
student: nah, it aint even like that. i got jesus wit me. (whilst showing me a purple handmade rosary that hung around his neck.)

quote of the day

perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.--Colin Powell

quote of the day

hey yo teacha. we use da book?

quote of the day

Charles M. Schulz - "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."

quote of the day

people will go out of their way to avoid communicating with those they do not trust. Without trust, you are wasting each other's time. --david cottrell

quote of the day

"You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand."-- Woodrow Wilson

quote of the day

Bones break, organs burst, flesh tears. We can sew the flesh, repair the damage, ease the pain. But when life breaks down, when WE break down. There’s no science. No hard and fast rules. We just have to feel our way through. --meredith grey

quotes of the day

(i'd mentioned they would have a sub because i would be going home to help my mom because she wasn't feeling well.)

smiley: hey miss. i dont know if this confidential, but how your mom?
me: she's doing well. thank you for asking.
smiley: good. i be prayin for her.

and

it was a once in a lifetime mistake. it wont happen again. --lucio

and

don't even trip! --our book room coordinator & supply diva. her response to my apology for bothering her

quote of the day

smiley: you back!
me: hello!
smiley: i missed you.
me: well, i missed you too.
smiley: i got you pop tarts!
me: you did? whats so kind, but why did you do that?
smiley: because i knew you was comin back today.
(hands me the pop tarts)
me: blueberry? wonderful! thank you so much.
smiley: they said they helps brain cells, too.

i am not a grown up.

i am not a grown up. today i had to put my dear cat, louie, to sleep. i cried like a baby at the vets office, and once in the car i cried all the way home. once i got home, i ran up stairs, and despite being 25 years old, i climbed into bed, jeans, hoodie & all, and pulled my sisters hot pink quilt over my head where i continued sob to into her pillow swearing it would NEVER get another pet.



yes this is the same cat that destroyed my leather couches and would keep me up all night by banging on my bedroom door with his back paws. you see, if i let him in, my sweet feline would jump onto my bed and walk across my body and bite at whatever flinched under his weight. the same cat that would grab at my leg if i tried to walk away if he wasn't done being petted. yes this is the same cat that terrorized my family & friends with his psychopathic mood swings.



the same cat that would hang out in between the banisters so that when you walked by the stairs he could swat at you. the same cat that defended me. when i was having a heated discussion/disagreement with someone, he sauntered up to the offender, proceeded to bite him on the face, and then calmly walked away. (ill be honest, while disturbing, i didn't hate it.) and yes, this is the self same cat that burrowed into the underside of the mattress in the spare bedroom downstairs, i believe, so that he could better avoid potential visitors and more fully enjoy his peace and quiet.



but, he could be sweet. hilarious, darling and sweet. he rarely was, but when he was, he was. when would fold laundry and he could come and steal a pair of rolled socks and play catch with himself around the living room. his antics were endless. he hated to be alone and so i had to leave the door unlocked when i would shower so that he could come and go as he pleased, and be able to check make sure i was still there. sometimes he would try and jump into the shower with me. (creepy, yes. but hilarious also) he would splash all the water out of his water dish and then roll around in it. once he jumped up and stole an entire chicken breast off my plate and growled fiercely when i tried to retrieve his newly acquired prize.



he would splash in toilet. (sick, i know. i quickly learned to keep the toilet lid shut.) he would lure anyone he could to the stairs, and then sprint to the bottom and stretch until you petted his tummy to his little kitty hearts content. he loved his naps. both with me, my mom, and alone, wherever he could find available leather furniture to sprawl his enormous 17 pound body across.

but when i had another "i am not a grown up" moment and was laying on the floor in a puddle of my own self pity, and it was that same cat that came and laid next to me and licked my tears and snuggled me, (shockingly without biting) until i felt better. and i think it has been that single act that has caused me to ignore all his other disturbing & destructive behavior. he was troubled. he was the runt, with a broken leg, an eye infection, and a respiratory problem that flared up any time he got stressed out. dear crazy old louie. i miss you.


(out of respect for the deceased, spare me the angela & sprinkles comments.)

flat tire photo shoot

i am not funny. my sisters, and parents, on the other hand, are hilarious. my sister kristin described our weekend shenanigans so well (see link at the bottom), that i will let her do the talking . i will just supply the photos to illustrate such hilarity.

we were taking one of our leisurely sunday drives around here...

when this happened.

the scene.

luckily, we always have blankets in the car.


so that we could properly assess the situation.

whats luckier is that dad knows how to do everything.

so that we could start taking pictures of ourselves...

and our feet


but then, we didn't want to leave dad out...

he was grateful.

we were having fun


mom started getting cold

so we only took a few more...

and then one...


and then headed to logan to drop nicole off. the conversation centered around "the ABC game" is worth the read.

general conference one liners....

missionary work is the lifeblood of the church --silvia h allred
faith is not only a feeling, but a decision -- neil l anderson
Faith, hope and charity stabilize our lives. --dieter f uchdorf
the savior is truly the author of our salvation --dieter f uchdorf
never allow despair to overcome your spirit --dieter f uchdorf
the next time you are tempted to groan, try to laugh instead --joseph b wirthlin
come what may, and love it. --joseph b wirthlin
be an angel -- jeffrey r holland
it is the ONLY intelligent thing to do. --lawrence e corbridge
get on the path and never give up. --lawrence e corbrige
let us lift you and calm your fears --thomas s monson
knit your hearts together --henry b eyring
meekness is not weakness. --robert d hales
find the joy in the journey. find it now. --president monson
minimize demands and maximize loving outpourings. --russell m nelson
love & service are like twins. they seek each others companionship. --eduardo gavarret
find someone who is having a hard time and do something for them. --president monson

excellent ellsworths

last time i saw them little mia (the one in the bottom shot trying to share her ba ba with me) was only a few weeks old. now claire is the same age, and ange & jon are as dear to me as ever. no shock there.







indoor lighting makes me crazy. so these shots were better turned to black & white.

the gibsons

dearest gibson family. it had been forever since i had seen them. so we chatted & took pictures with their newest edition.









for more pics of this lovely family and brennan's darling cheeks click here.

my date with dani & andi...

i got together with one of my dear friends dani & her little darling little girl andi. we got chatted and caught up and then went to gardners village.







so so so fun. oh how i love these girls and these pictures.

for more pics from the dani + andi + witches photo shoot, click here.

quote of the day

its like im a pregnant psychopath.--my sister kristin