strike over. thank goodness.

so, i survived my first strike. THANK GOODNESS all that madness is finally over. i was growing inreasingly weary of all meetings and rallies and wind and cold and fliers etc. the settlement was reached wednesday 4/25/07 after being out on strike for 10 days. i had previously heard that our superintendent wanted to keep us out for 10 days, but i could not wrap my brain around the idea of it actually happening. but it did. and thankfully, now that its over, i'm back to doing what i love.

i've had some time to think about all the happenings of the past few weeks. i'm sharing these musings merely because the act of giving them shape in the cyber world of blogging imposes the responsiblity of organizing these thoughts & feelings into somewhat coherent reflections. so here goes...

wednesday night i was leaving a friends house and as i walked outside to my car i became very aware of the rain & cold and envisioned another day outside on the picket lines, and i was just plain tired. i didn't want to get up the next morning just to spend the day outside. i missed my kids. the previous day had been particularly rough. no earth shattering, contentious run-ins or the like. we had our morning area meeting, and the general mood was foul. another day had passed and we seemed to be at a standstill. an ugly thick funk had settled in. people were disappointed, frustrated and disheartened. there was no end in sight. i kept thinking, if i just knew how long this would last, it would be so much easier, mentally. after the meeting i went back to my assigned area and sat down by myself and put my sunglasses on and closed my eyes, almost with the child-like notion, "if i can't see them, then they can't see me." i did not want to talk to anyone, because i was on the verge of tears. i felt like such a baby, but i was tired of striking. i wasn't a union die hard or even a disgruntled, veteran teacher who had spent years feeling used & abused by this district. i was running on fumes and tired of feeling like i was fighting someone else's battle. i just wanted to get back to my classroom and back to my kids. i missed my room. i missed the cooking & the cleaning & the laundry & the grading & the long hours. so when i got the message that a settlement had been reached, it didn't even seem real. yah, that sounds drama-queenish, but it is what it is. honestly, i was all choked up. a huge wave of relief & calmness settled over me. i was so grateful that my days as a picket sign holding, striking teacher were over.

as negative as the experience could have been, some really, serious good came out of all those contentious, tension filled days on the picket line. rallying against our seemingly crooked adminstrators gave me an opportunity to get to know many of the other 90 or so teachers at tennyson high. for which i'm SO grateful. checking in every day with each other, gauging where the collective moral rested, and even getting to know a couple other teachers on an outside school level. walking & talking, carrying picket signs for miles does A LOT for bonding.

i put my mass text messaging abilities to good use, keeping 'my people' updated on strike happenings. this was extremely enteratining for me and a great way to pass the time. NOTE: i must admit i am now a little sad not to have an excuse to touch base with friends, old & new, on a daily basis.

the community support was unbelievable, and something i was not prepared for. there are so many families in our community that struggle financially--and to see THEM supporting US--by making sure we had snacks & water out on the line was really touching. many did not speak english, but would simply hand over home made treats to keep our tummies full. a local sikh (sp?) community prepared a full indian feast one day for lunch. i was so grateful, and again so touched by the small acts of kindness, support and generosity that had such a HUGE impact on me.

its a little tough getting back into the swing of things, but i'm so excited to teach. even just to see my kids....i feel like so much time has passed and so many things could have transpired. out on the line i questioned everything--the ethics of the action i was taking by refusing to teach, what being "a teacher" means in terms of the rest of my life, what this union business is all about, anyway, how i'll ever be able to reach my financial goals on a teacher's salary, how i thought administrators were supposed to have their teachers backs, how it was not possible to act as a union member AND a teacher and why i teach at all. my whole life the only things i've ever wanted to be were an outstanding teacher, wife & mom. funny, because all can sometimes seem to be over-romaticized and underpaid & underappreciated. but all require hard work, committment & dedication. for me, being a wife & mom is quite far off in the future, and so at this moment, outside my my religious convictions, teaching is the most meaningful part of my life. i lost a good portion of my monthly paycheck because of this strike. but, i gained a lot also. i gained a stronger drive to work hard and be open & available to my students. to carry on, "full speed ahead," saving nothing for a later. to provide experiences that will teach more than just curriculum. i mean, food is fabulous, and i love it, but its not about "what" i teach. its the WHO i get to interact with every day. i gained an appreciation for the community that i serve, and for little things like sunshine & sunscreen. i came away with a greater understanding of the sacredness of what it means to be trusted with the education of someone else's child.

i can't imagine not knowing my kids, and not loving them as much as i do. being in the classroom with my kids fills my need to love something wholeheartedly. teaching just makes me feel good, so much so that sometimes i feel guilty for making my work something that i enjoy so darn much. i'm so lucky. i am not a great teacher. i hope one day, that i might be, but i'm not there, yet. i love my kids and i believe that its that love that is going to carry me, and drive me to bridge the gap between where i am right now and the type of role i play in the lives of my students. keep those fingers crossed for me. it will be totally worth it.

and the sidewalk talks...

on the sidewalk in front of my school. our teachers make me laugh. but this really says it all.



while i don't know her, i'm sure our superintendent's mother is not proud.

how far?

mmmmmm...this is a goodie. thank-you martina.

How Far

There's a boat, I could sail away
There's the sky, I could catch a plane
There's a train, there's the tracks
I could leave and I could choose to not come back
Oh never come back

There you are, giving up the fight
Here I am begging you to try
Talk to me, let me in
But you just put your wall back up again
Oh when's it gonna end


CHORUS
How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far

There's a chance I could change my mind
But I won't, not till you decide
What you want, what you need
Do you even care if I stay or leave
Oh, what's it gonna be

(Chorus)

Out of this chair, or just across the room
Halfway down the block or halfway to the moon

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say
Yeah I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far

strike one, but i'm still out...

so going on strike was not on my list of things to accomplish during my first year teaching. the district & HEA had been in negotiations since august, but no settlment was reached. i was pretty indifferent to it all until i heard how unreasonable the administration was really being. now, make no mistakes, i'm by no means a bitter, old, hag of a teacher thats been teaching for 50 years and feels used & abused. i love my job. i love my kids. i love waking up every morning knowing i get to spend the next 8 hours with them. but some things you just gotta fight for. this is one of those things, i guess.

so for all you that are as new to strikeland as i am, here are the basics....you close down your classroom. lock up any valuables that you dont want tampered with, since who knows about ethics of a sub that would cross a picket line. can not return to the classroom until the strike is over. day of strike--show up at school at 6:30 am with picket sign in hand. (yes its still dark.) our responsiblities at this point are to cause a ruckus and deter anyone from crossing the picket line. as you can see, my sign reads, honk if you support hayward teachers. it became a game, instant gratification when i got the honk and the wave & smile. we walk up and down our assigned picket area until about 10, where we meet at either the marquee or the church down the road and discuss the plans for the day. at 11 we meet at birchfield park in hayward for a protest rally. wave our signs, enjoy music from the "hit band," "the angry, tired teachers," with strike appropriate renditions of "i can't get no satisfaction" & "mony, mony." we then grab a bite to eat and head back to school to picket for 3 more hours. around 330 we get particularly loud and begin chanting... "shame on you" and "its not worth it" and "dont come back" at the scabs. once all the scabs have been chased away, we come together for another meeting and end with the solidarity clap, and make sure its known to be back on the lines the next morning at 6:30 a.m.

favorite quotes
i'm feeling the chill of vigil's soul.
vigil, he is like hitler.
i think i need the funky monkey TONIGHT.
peeps are an unhealthy snack, not a cool form of slang.
ms boothers...(waving and blowing me kisses)
ms booth add me on myspace!!!!
ms booth, is there school today? no honey, we're still on strike. oh. well when are you going to be done? i dont know. hopefully soon. oh, ok. bye!
MS BOOTH!!!!!!

favorite signs
will work for my teacher
you're paying taxes while dale relaxes.
i miss my teacher.
teacher left behind
honk if you support hayward teachers


favorite happenings
honking to the beat of the music. kids waving, shaking their dreads, honking & throwing up their signs.
a car full of kids ghostriding. maryann saying they er gonna fall out. what are they doing. me smiling inwardly knowing that this is what we call ghostriding.
peeing in a strangers bathroom, and being so grateful.
the parent support at the community march.
students giving the sub a hard time on our behalf...
getting to know other teachers.
getting hit by a car driven by a scab. twice.
seeing george slam a sign on a scabs winsheild. then threw something at his car. (more shocking than a favorite.)
realizing that being a "dirty hippie" is not appealing.
shade
sunshine
kids in shirts in spanish supporting the teachers.