day forty seven: stamps & not often, non awesomeness.

some days i feel like the little kid in the movies that whines, "but moooooooooooom. i don't wanna go to school..." and i whine that very same thing. but not usually to my mom. as i lay in bed, achy, tired, stuffed up and with a sore throat, i whined those same words, yet again, as i deliberated whether or not i should/could/would call in a sub for the following day.

i remembered that my grades were due, and so i decided to tough it out. not because i was feeling better, or because i'm a rockstar, but because i hate using sick days when i'm sick. i'd much rather use them for an adventure or long weekend or a trip home.

so i got to school, still feeling slow and cloudy. but my students are so good to me. there is an unspoken kindness about them...when i talk softer & slower or have a kind of raspy voice, they quiet much faster, and listen much more intently. i dont tell them i'm sick, usually, but they know, and i know, that the days activities are more about getting by and just doing what needs to be done, rather than being a super, awesomely fun day. and they seem OK with it, because even thought its not awesome, its also not often.

i have a system for when i have my kids do have to do written work. i assign the task...normally vocabulary and the review questions at the end of a chapter. i stamp it as soon as they complete it. they get full credit, no matter what, for having an assignment completed & stamped. we then correct the work and go over all the answers as a class. i thave them fill in any answer they don't have correct or completed, to SHOW me they were paying attention when we were correcting the assignment, without penalty for getting anything wrong. this is helpful for a few reasons...they actually work independently to be awarded the blessed stamp, they actually make an attempt at all questions, because they think writing anything will fool me into thinking they did their work. and i'm sure sometimes it does. but most times, i think they realize it's easier just to actually try and answer a question from the text than to try to think of a creative way to try and fake me out.

so today was a catch up day. they had a huge unit packet due, and they were given the opportunity to make up and get any work stamped that they needed to submit the packet. there was also an additional written assignment to work on when their packets were complete.

as i went around checking progress and the need for stamps, one of my students asked...

ms. booth, can't you just collect all my papers, one at a time, right after i do them? this too much work..
what is?
trying to find all this work you assign. i be losin it all the time. can't you just collect it?
no.
why?
because part of the assignment and grade you get is for NOT losing your work. (i kinda felt like throwing in a "because i'm the teacher and i said so," with a nanner nanner nanner look, but i didn't. i figured it would be neither professional or appropriate. but i did think about it.)
oh.

what i didn't mention is that while these practices do help my students become self starters and responsible, it also prevents ME from losing any of their work either.

quote of the day

Im listening to 50 to prepare myself mentally --shweggie

quote of the day

darling students: ms booth, you're awesome. its just you. by yourself. (i think referring to my collecting yearbook payments and handing out receipts and taking pictures.) you are superwoman.
me: hahaha. you mean my bossiness?
darling students: no. we just admire your persistence.

(i post this only to show you that high school students really can be so kind.)

and

we got so much bars...--dear student commenting on his cooking abilities made me remember all their other colorful language and word usage, of which i am getting a first hand education,

day forty eight: security, snarling & student phone calls

some fridays i just want to let my kids have a free for all. use and cook and eat anything in sight. in theory, this would make my job easier--just letting them be creative and utilize the supplies we have while cleaning out the cupboards and fridge. more real life experience than they now understand. in reality, its not really the case. i have to then print half a dozen different recipes, and make sure we have the supplies for each of those creations in stead of just letting them "have at it." once i get going, its really not that bad, and the prep work doesn't take much time. so thats what kind of friday we had. peanut butter cookies. asian shredded cabbage salad. baked chicken. calzones. homemade mac & cheese. breakfast burritos. quesadillas. good times in the foods lab, i tell you. good times.

i had run back to the classroom to get my roll sheet when one of our dear security officers stopped in to pick up the attendance. i love these men. they are easy going, and they always are so kind and cheery. i've never needed to utilize them for such, but its also really comforting knowing that if i ever had any unwanted visitor show up at school, i'd have a brigade of 5 very large men at my beck & call. im so ok with that. also, they know i rarely have any problems with my students, and so if i call them, they are there in a flash. so this dear security guard picked up my attendance and then headed out. he popped his head back in and said, im sorry sweetheart, TFIG. it was tender. it also made me a bit reflective....he and the rest of our security staff can call me speedy (because i walk so fast) or baby or sweetheart and it doesn't creep me out at all. because i love them. it kind of makes me feel like, YAH. THESE GUYS ARE ON MY TEAM. they totally have my back. (angel, i suppose i do not love you, and that is why my interactions with you left me so IRATE. you totally DON'T have my back.)

anyways, i headed back into the kitchen and checked the kids progress. they were buzzing. im such a control freak slash planner, that before this week i rarely ever just let them "be creative" in the kitchen. everything is usually so by the book. i think they really enjoyed each doing something different, and having the liberty (yes, really, liberty) to make or break whatever dish they were preparing.

my dear security, smelled the cookies and came by to chat with the kids and find out what was on the agenda for that day. before they took off to radio call on the other side of campus, he said, "peanut butter cookies?! lace us up, baby. lace us up with some of them." it was agreed. i had one of my quicker kitchens prepare a batch for security. when i stepped outside again, i saw a student run out of the classroom right next to mine.

HEY!!! MS. BOOTH!!! SECURITY!!! GIRLS IS FIGHTING!!!! really really wide eyes, pointing out at the end of out hallway. i ran out, but did not see anything.
WHERE??
IN da CLASS!!!

just as he said that, i realized he was pointing out the hallway to try and summon security to come break up something going on INSIDE that room. i went to call the emergency line, but of course, no one picked up. i turned around, three more boys came running out of that classroom and sprinted in separate directions calling our security officers by name. i stayed in my doorway to block any of my kids from running over to our neighbors to see what the commotion was all about. within about 10 seconds a snarling, shaking girl had burst into the hall way. i see her often with her girlfriend by their locker in the hallway. front security came sprinting down the hallway and began dealing with shaking girl. one of our campus police officers then came sprinting down, just as the other girl erupted from the same door. the four of them walked quietly to the office. i saw the substitute, a regular at our site, come to the doorway, also with extremely wide eyes. i asked her if she was OK, and if she needed anything else. she said no, and that she was fine. the other security officers came and questioned a few students about exactly what happened. girl one was talking and being disruptive during the test. girl two told her to quit talking so she could take her test. qirl one told her not to tell her what to do, or she'd knock her out. so, they stood up, postured up and started beating the stuffing out of each other. but i didn't see any blood, so that was a plus.

dear student who got a referral was back again today. things were OK. student whose grandpa died missed class. another dear student withdrew. she has a 4 month old son. she is a senior, and is living with her 23 year old pregnant sister who also has 2 other children. she got in a tiff with her sister, and is now moving back in with her mom who lives 2 hours away. she says she'll still have enough credits to graduate and that everything will be on track for that, she hopes. i hope so too. i told her to email me if she needs anything. she said she would. today was her last day. i dont think i'll ever see her again. that part is strange.

on my drive home my cell phone rang. i picked it up....

student: ms. booth?
me: yes?
student: hi. this is (dear student in my 1st block class)
me: hi.
student: hi. are you still at school?
me: no, i'm not.
student. oh. well... i have some work to turn in.
me: ok, well you'll have to turn it in tuesday.
student: ok. well can you still count it for my grade? (today was the last day of the quarter)
me: yes, i can, but i dont know that it will help that much. you're failing because you never come to class.
student: oh. (she sounded nervous, and surprised, even though we've had these conversations before)
me: but bring it in tuesday, and we'll see what we can do.
student: ok

i still have no idea how she got my cell phone number. i suppose it doesn't really matter. TGIF

you tubing again.

ok seriously. i have watched slash listened to this a ridiculous number of times. the lyrics make me happy, and this darling boy does such a lovely job with it. i would embed this, but they also did an EXCELLENT job of keeping this off youtube. boo. just click the link.

and this one.



(sure did)

and of course, whenever i'm in a youtube mood i have to revisit this one...



pure AWESOME, i tell you. pure awesome.

day forty nine: a bangin' red letter day.

last night i recieved a text message from one of my dear students that graduated last year. letting me know that she passed her calculus final at UC Davis. this was a big deal, because even though this girl is a rockstar, she struggled in that class. we chatted last week and she asked me to pray for her. i told i would, of course, but that she could pray also. she laughed and said OK, but that she didn't know what kind of curve that could be, since she was pretty sure she bombed the test. her text read, "hello. :-D i got a C in my calc class." i congratulated her and she responded, "the higher beings did believe in a nice curve because i got a 43." it made me smile.

today i had planned for the kids to make "monkey bread bites" which is a basic biscuit dough recipe, rolled in a cinnamon & sugar and then covered in carmel. its a multi-step process. its always amazing to me how within the sound of my own voice there will be students that can and will follow verbal directions perfectly, and there will also be others that will struggle even as i stand right beside them, and explain the same thing any number of ways. but, eventually, they get it.

i prayed on the way to school this morning that if dear student who i sent out on monday was back in class today, that we would have the patience & love necessary to tolerate one another, and that today, things would be OK. and they were.

when i went over the recipe with his group, he gave his approval of, "this 'bout to be bangin." i smiled, nodded and moved on to the next group letting them get started. i stopped back by a little bit later, and i think he could feel me watching him wash the dishes. yes, he was washing the dishes. he muttered to himself (loud enough for me to be able to hear) "i washin the dishes. i aint washin' anymore then these." the fact that he was participating in the food preparation and cleaning, and that he even looked me in the eye once made this a red letter day. i dont care if he still had a bad attitude. he washed dishes and he looked me in the eye.

at lunch i set up to take the pictures for the "senior favorites" page in the yearbook. i had the announcement made over the PA system, and quickly my room was filled with noise. laughter and chattering. i told them exactly how we were going to do things, and that i needed full cooperation...blah blah blah...it was organized chaos. i was barking orders, they were listening and being their wonderful, colorful selves. my counterpart came by to assist in the commotion, and it was much appreciated.

one of my student's grandfather's passed away sunday night. we chatted about it. he was calm, but sad. i've checked in with him every day, and he's doing well, considering the circumstances.

i'm afraid of _____________________.

so. i've been mulling over things quietly for quite sometime. the ponytail weilding & puma clad hampsters (as my sister so cleverly described them) are still there, and are definitely still running. i kept waiting for them to slow down (or at least take a nap) before i tried to make sense of all this on epaper, but i dont think that will happen in the near future.

so instead, i will try to make sense of it here.

i've realized in the past little while or so, that i'm terrified. of things other than spiders, the dark, heights, guns or large bodies of water. let it be known, that i feel that these are all legitimate, real, acceptable things to be frightened of. (don't judge me.) but, i've recently come to the realization that some of the things that i like about the real, deep down, authentic ME are tied to things that i fear more than spiders and maybe even large bodies of water. (sidenote: dad, i still will not be persuaded to drive the boat. sorry.)

i have a paralyzing fear

#1. of publicly throwing myself into anything completely, and then
#2. of not being able to follow through or succeed, and then when i fail,
#3. of coming off as the pretentious ninny who THOUGHT she could. someone who thought she was better, more apt or intelligent than others who have tried similiarly, but not succeeded.

i'm so afraid of ending up as one who CAN'T or DIDN'T, just like the my imaginary naysayers taunted that i would, that often times i dont even bother trying something if im not SURE that i can learn it, pull it off, rock it or be successful at it.

why? i'm not entirely sure. i know that i've always had these fears at least to a small degree, but i think i may have allowed them to be exponentially intensified by a particularly noteworthy hurdle that i stumbled over in my short, 25 year sprint. luckily, i've only had one. in some ways though, i feel it quickly beat me into submission of the idea that failure, while not desirable, is indeed extremely possible. THAT IS TERRIFYING. part of me longs for the immature notion that nothing can or ever will go wrong. that all things will work in my favor. that all my shots will drop. that i will get every job i apply for and that every struggle i have will end with me as as the victor. instead, i feel that that nasty old hurdle, spawned a pessimistic, cynical alter ego, to which, now, i attribute my fear of publicly committing to anything. because to do such would set myself up for the possibility of having to explain to the world around me, naysayers included, what i did, why i did it, why i thought i could succeed and how come it didn't work out the way i wanted it to.

up to this point in my new found, "grown up " life, this stupid, dumb, idiotic immature self absorbed fear has prevented me from committing things. because then, if i don't commit, there is no aftermath to sort out. if i don't ever commit to anything fully, then there will never be a chance that i have to admit that i've failed.

when i do something, i do it. i fear being in the midst of anything, and then changing my mind & deciding that specific something just, "isn't for me." what is even scarier to me, though, is the thought of being in the midst of anything, not changing my mind about it, but realizing i can't accomplish my desired end result, goal or dream. to have to admit that i CAN'T do something is contrary to everything that i believe about human nature. to have to admit that i have failed at something that i really really really wanted to accomplish. i fear that set of emotions, because i've been there. once. but once was enough to scare the commitment pants right off me. what i've realized, is that i have allowed the fear of my own failure to prevent me from pursuing dreams, goals and relationships that weren't a sure bet.

seriously? how lame. i didn't think i was that person, but apparently i am.

so what is a "sure bet" in my mind? so far, two things. the church of jesus christ of latter day saints and being a teacher. there is no way to fail at either of these. the church is true. and in my mind, the only qualifier for success in the teaching field is to love my students. and i do. whole heartedly.

but this blog isn't about the sure bets. i could talk about those forever. (oh wait, i do) i suppose this blog is to warm me up to the idea of publicly expressing what the hamsters in my heads have been doing flips over for the past few months. to actually commit to doing something about it. because now that i've realized what has been stopping me, as scary as it may be, i feel like i can actually move forward. at least a little.

if this entry doesn't make sense to you, thats ok. it will. i have a feeling my hamsters are gonna need new pumas soon. maybe some diet coke too. like i said before, i don't think they're gonna be stopping to rest anytime soon.

quote of the day

train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it. --proverbs 22:6

day fifty: stir fry and the mexican baby daddy

today was a fun day. we got a huge delivery of vegetables from the nutrition project. snow peas, broccoli, carrots and brown rice. things we would never have been able to afford otherwise. SUCH beautiful produce. they gave us a recipe for a friend rice dish, but we decided it would be more fun to just give the kids the ingredients and let them play with a stir fry dish instead. when i told the kids the types of vegetables we had to work with, i heard mutterings of "sick" and "this is going to be so nasty..." and saw digust on almost every one of their faces. when i asked if anyone had had stir fry before, and asked how to do it, my dear 12th grade beer coniesseur mentioned, "you just throw a bunch of crap in a pan..." i then explained the basics about how to stir-fry and told them they could do what they wanted as far as seasonings and other details. it was so fun. they were all engaged, excited and creative. one group insisted on seasoning their dish with oregano, basil, lemon pepper, garlic powder, barbeque sauce and teriyaki sauce. they of course, also insisted that i try it...before divulging the details of "the group one secret." i had been watching close enough to see there was nothing dangerous or terribly disgusting in their dish, and so i tried it right along with them. there was not a drop of leftovers left in any kitchen in any block today. they ate every last bit of the food they cooked. "this BANGIN, ms. booth." and "you know this the BEST stir fry you ever had..." THEY ATE THEIR VEGETABLES!!! and liked it!! they are so darling.

the next block, one of my particularly boisterous girls was laughing. she has the most recognizable laugh. i said hello to one of my former students in the hallway before we started inside the kitchen. she then pulled her thumb out of her mouth and said, "he my boo" i said, "i'm sorry? i'm not sure what that means?" (even though, lets be honest, i did kind of know) she said "he so cute. that my mexican baby daddy." i laughed and she laughed that extremely recognizable laugh, which made her group laugh, which kept me laughing. i loved it. days like this make me so happy. we finished cooking and cleaning. the kids commenting on how they were ready for naps with their full tummies, but such and such teacher is SOOOO mean that she doesn't let them sleep. this time i just laughed quietly to myself.

i love them.

quotes of the day

i do not know what stir fry, but i will learn, and i will now know today, what stir fry is....--9th grade freshman boy. said dramatically. for effect.

and

student: ms booth. i was sick yesterday.
me: i know! we missed you.
student: i woke up and coughed and threw up and my dad said i couldn't go to school.
me: well its good you're better now.
student: but i didn't get a cinnamon bun. yesterday, i died a little inside.

i decided...

that i need to commit to a few things for these last fifty days.

every day

i will:

pray specifically for myself and my students before getting to school.

leave my house by 7:15 every morning.

say hello and smile to every student who will make eye contact with me.

stay at school every day until at least 5 oclock to reflect, make copies, organize the lab or plan for the next day's activities.

resist the urge to mentally counter any request from the administration with the retort, "what are you gonna do, TAKE MY JOB AWAY?"

i will do my best to make sure my students know they are loved, cared for and thought about.

fifty days.

beginning tomorrow, i will have exactly fifty days left. fifty days with my kids. fifty days at my school. seeing how it looks incredibly likely i will not be teaching at this school in the fall, i'm becoming keenly aware of the each detail that i am leaving behind. its kind of making my heart hurt. im afraid im going to forget what it feels like. i realize that i like writing for the same reason i like photography...because it helps me to remember and revisit things that i would hate to forget. so, for these last fifty days of school, im going to do my best to remember. it may be through pictures or stories or just descriptions of the wonderful people that i get to spend my day with, but i am going to record at least one thing here, every day, for the last fifty days of school.

food for thought

dear angel,

im not sure what irks me more...

the fact you lied when you told me i was the next one up AFTER i'd already been waiting an hour and a half

the fact it took over 3 hours to get a simple, basic oil change, when you assured me i'd be on my way in just over an hour.

the fact you gave me the really concerned, slow nod when you told me you'd bump me ahead of a few people, when 30 minutes earlier you told me i was "the next one up."

the fact you called me "girly" when you handed me my keys and then said to "make sure and come back to see us again real soon."

the fact that the only other woman in that establishment was your secretary who was wearing particularly tight slacks with an
extremely low cut shirt.

the fact that your salesmen comrades looked confused when i sat down to watch the warrior game, and only accepted such after i admitted that i played for a few years

the fact that the aforementioned comrades said, "well you CERTAINLY have the height for it," as though i wasn't aware that i am 6 ft tall.

the fact you tried to pass off the car wash that is included in my service as compensation for wasting my time, lying to me and treating me like a child, assuming that i didn't know otherwise.

the way you said, "well...you can't drive a car if there's no oil in it..." with that same stupid slow nod...

the fact you returned my car to me minus one hubcap, and insisted it must have been that way when i got there and i just "didn't notice." (dear angel....i notice things)

the fact that as soon as i had my keys in hand, i had to remove myself immediately for fear i was going to cause a scene

the fact that my car is now almost 2000 miles overdue for another service, but i have not been able to bring myself to take care of it, because every time i consider coming face to face with someone like you ever again i get red faced, hot mad and i start to sweat.

the fact that this happened four months ago, yet it STILL fires me up.

all of it irks me. i am not a fan of you, your service department or your dealership. and to be honest, i kind of secretly hope that one day you grossly underestimate the competence of powerful, bright, successful, young lawyer that also happens to be a woman. when you keep HER waiting all day, insult her intelligence and then call her by some pet name as you gently place her keys back into her hands, i'm sure she will have had ample time to come up with a few ideas of her own about what would be fitting compensation for such behavior. just food for thought.

your former customer,
jackie

melted patience vs. melted heart

yesterday an interaction with a student melted my patience. he was disrespectful and defiant. i tried with every ounce of patience and composure to work with him and try and understand what his frustration was, but i didn't work. i sent him to the office with security and a referral. i never send referrals. my track record so far is 1 per year. sigh.

but today...

i was just rushing between my classroom and the kitchen and i heard my name. i looked up and one of my beginning esl kids from last semester had come back around the end of the hallway to stop and wave and excitedly say, "hi ms. booth!" with the most glowing, darling smile i had ever seen. i didn't even know he knew that much english. it warmed my heart. then melted it.

quote of the day

this the most dishes i EVER washed. --12th grade boy

handbook 2009

this is one of those forwards that people used to pass around via email before blogs. i got it from someone who doesn't blog, but should.

HEALTH:

1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2008.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10.Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

PERSONALITY:

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

SOCIETY:

25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

LIFE:

32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

i like this.

quote of the day

ms booth. this smells like really crappy beer. --dear student, 12th grade boy (referring to the yeast, sugar & water mixture for the cinnamon roll dough)

and

Repentance takes care of the past, faith the future, and the Holy Ghost helps us with today. --Elder Neal A. Maxwell (from his book, Of One Heart pg 30)

quote of the day

what are you a camel expert? did you go to camel college? --shawnie

quote of the day

It is better to trust and sometimes be disappointed than to be forever mistrusting though right accasionally. This is to endorse empathy, not naivete. --Elder Neal A. Maxwell, october 26, 1976

***for the entire address (which is awesome) click here

quote of the day

you're freakin me out like suzanne sommers right now... --dan (in response to my telling him i that i would probably trust and more lean towards alternative forms of healing more than traditional medicine. seriously dan, freak out or not, if i look like her when im over 50, i'd so be ok with it)

quote of the day

a man has to find a good woman, and when he finds her, he has to win her love. then he has to earn her respect. the he has to cherish her trust. and then he has to, like go on doing that for as long as they live. until they both die. that's what it's all about. that's what a man is, yaar. a man is truly a man when he wins the love of a good woman, earns her respect, and keeps her trust. until you do that, you're not a man. --gregory david roberts

and

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times. --rita rudner

quote of the day

from the contest winning essay answer to the question "what was the most important day of your life?" in real simple:

Working in that intensive care unit gave me countless sad tales, and some unfortunate memories are burned into my brain. But it wasn’t some catastrophic moment that taught me one of the most powerful lessons of my life. I learned that unbelievably awful things can and do happen. Each of us has a story that would break someone’s heart. Despite the grief and the unfairness of it all, we keep going. There are chores to be done. There are people who still need our care. There is still a life to be led. The real lesson was found in the date on that newspaper clipping. I realized that, regardless of the heartache, we may choose the moments in which we live. – aldra robinson

love it.

quote of the day

ms booth....our noodles is tangled. --student (with the biggest, most worried, upset frown i have seen in a long time)

sigh.

student: hey...ms booth? (lingering at the doorway before going to the kitchen)
me: yah (sitting at my computer)
student: i just wanted to apologize for acting up last week...?
me: what do you mean?
student: you know, getting sent out to wait in the hallway and stuff...
me: oh right
student: i mean, i never had a problem in here before.
me: i know. i want you to know when i sent you out it wasn't because i was angry, but it was really hard for me to give directions to the class when i had to keep stopping and asking you guys to stop talking.
student: i know
me: but its ok, because we are starting over now.
student: i know, thats why im talking to you. i been thinking about it this weekend and stuff, and i just want to start over
me: well here we go. everything is fine now.

i love my students. and my job.

what i know.

i'm at a point in my life where there are a lot of things are uncertain. i wont waste time or energy expounding upon those right now. instead, i'd rather take a moment and publicly express what is certain, what i am grateful for and what i know to be true.

i know that i have a heavenly father who loves me and that he hears & answers my prayers. i know that he sacrificed his son jesus christ, so that each of his children would have the opportunity to come to this earth and experience mortality, but still have the opportunity to repent and be forgiven of the mistakes they make while they are here. I am grateful that i know that he knows me personally. I know that trying to live as he would want me to deserves my best effort. i know that jesus christ lived, died and was resurrected. i know that this was part of our creators plan. i know that joseph smith was a true prophet of God and the he did indeed see God the Father and Jesus Christ, just as he said he did. I know that the Book of Mormon is a translated, ancient record of the people who lived in the Americas, and that it is another testament of Jesus christ, proclaiming his divinity as our savior and exemplar. I know temples house the most sacred & basic ordinances, but that each are required to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. I know that they are good and real and necessary. i love and am grateful for my dear family, and i know that it is through the blessings of the temple we are bound, and that i can be with them forever, hinging upon my own faithfulness. i love knowing that. i know that whether we believe it or not, we are all children of our Heavenly Father, and we are all in this together. i know that helping one another along the way is a much better way to get along through this mortal experience.

as i started writing this i began to realize how difficult it is for me to put into words my feelings about being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. and that is OK. because if i can say or express nothing more than "I know it is true," than it would still be enough. i do know it. and while many other things remain uncertain, that understanding does not waver. that truth alone makes all other uncertainty seem a lot less scary and unsettling. for that i am eternally grateful.

quote of the day

a child cannot be taught by anyone who despiese him, and a child cannot afford to be fooled. --james baldwin

quotes of the day

ms booth! look at our sauce! = ) --dear student upon making mac & cheese from scratch

and

brownies look almost as good as I do in this apron. --robbie

quotes of the day

look. i bout to save yo life. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY. sign up for culinaryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! -dear student screaming in the hallway

and

look at how much pasta she got on her fork! you KNOW she want more sauce than that. --dear student

quote of the day

if you believe in it, it motivates to action. --rachel esplin

(watch a lovely q & a with this gal here. it's about 20 minutes long, but so good.)

quote of the day

Love is patient, love is kind
It is not jealous, is not pompous,
it is not inflated, it is not rude,
it does not seek it’s own interests,
it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice
over wrongdoing
but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.

(man, i really wanna be love.)

classy, cool & collected.

i was none of these when i heard about things of sacred nature being paraded around by those that don't understand them. i was sick, upset, hurt and frustrated. i posted a blog and then deleted it 15 minutes later. i was scattered. i thought of sending a hysterical mass email to anyone and everyone that i knew, in hopes that some drastic measure would be conjured up to make an attempt to keep whats sacred, sacred. instead, i waited. one of my friends mentioned that everything would be OK and that i might be overreacting a bit. (so what) i just felt helpless. but i still waited. then in my inbox this morning i found a link to this. sigh. i love my church. i know its leaders are inspired and that its teachings are true. i know that the work will move forward no matter what. because truth and goodness will prevail. always.

quotes of the day

this quote of the day will require a little visualization. it was a caption that read "mike was here," with an arrow pointing to the cross section of the colon i drew on the board on the day we talked about fiber. i about died laughing when i saw it.

and

now thizz face, thizz face! --picture text from michelle with attached image

oh how i love this hymn.

this is the handout i made for my RS lesson today. (it is the lyrics for hymn #335.) click for a larger image if you dont have stellar eyesight. my printer didn't work, so im sharing it here instead. (thank you george for making this possible.)

happiness

an interesting thing has happened lately. over the past few weeks i have heard, "you seem happy," and "things must be going well, you look happy lately," and "you're happy today," and "you sound so happy," quite a bit. these comments have been made by both people that know me really well, and people that hardly know me at all. its kind of taken me aback every time i've heard it, but to be quite honest, the comments themselves make me happy. im glad i appear happy. i'm glad that that shows. it kinda makes me wonder what is different or how or when it changed, but i suppose it doesn't matter. i mean, after all, i have nothing to be non-happy about. so here's to more happy days. whether or not anyone notices. because now I'M noticing.

quote of the day

the magic of sports is that it is condensed life... -- larry h. miller from a tribute montage about his life

quote of the day

...and since you fall into the kewl pool then we all good. --tanner

quote of the day

don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated; you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. --david lloyd george

quotes of the day

ms booth! look what i did! (showing me his graded scantron, with an 11 out of 12)--12th grade boy

and

i love you. (calmly, but with his arms raised in the air) i didn't think you'd be here. i want to finish my work. --11th grade boy

and

I am the king of making people awkward in good ways. --robbie

here i go, here i go, here i go again...

ok. i have a lot to say. a lot about what i've been doing and thinking and feeling lately. but, i dont really have time to write it all down, the way i want, so im going to wait until i do. just know, the hampsters in my head are running around LIKE CRAZY!!!

quote of the day

keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. --mark twain